Month: January 2014

We had a tough couple of days but Winnie is really getting better now. Here’s the latest…

The oncologist called on Thursday night to report that Winnie’s synovial cell sarcoma is, in fact, stage 2, not stage 1. So, while the amputation was necessary, it isn’t the cure we hoped. Once Winnie is better, they’re recommending metronomic chemo. Not sure what it all means but first things first…

When the oncologist called, I was at wit’s end. She found me at Whole Foods buying hamburger meat trying to figure out a way to get Winnie to eat. Winnie was lethargic and uninterested in food. I was freaking out. After a long chat, she said that she thought Winnie might be nauseated from all the meds. So, we stopped the antibiotic and the tramadol but kept her on the gabapentin and the pepcid. Well, she’s still not quite as interested in food but she sure perked up! She even snuck up the stairs when I wasn’t looking. As of this morning, we’ve run out of the gabapentin so I’m monitoring her to see how she does.

The oncologist prescribed zofran so I’m going to try that tonight about an hour before her food and see if that makes a different. It’s clear, however, that Winnie is outsmarting me at every turn. I’m starting to think she’s doing it just for fun. Right now, she’s checking out the dogs walking in front of the house. At least a few things are back to normal. Onward.

 

 

The funny thing about worry is that you need the time to do it. All week, I’ve been working hard to keep Winnie comfortable and calm. Now, as she gets better, I worry she’s not more perky and herself. But that’s crazy. She’s still on a ton of meds. It’s 9 degrees outside. Ice everywhere. And she’s exhausted. We both are.

I’m sitting at home (didn’t go to work today) waiting to hear from the oncologist. The biopsy of her knee joint is back. I know that synovial cell sarcoma has been confirmed. But they didn’t have a stage so we don’t know whether or not chemo is ahead. I’ll do whatever it takes to give Winnie the best life possible for as long as possible but, honestly, I’m scared if there is more of this. It’s just me taking care of her and it’s so much worrying and agonizing by yourself. That’s why I am so grateful to have found this community.

So…we wait. But in an effort to keep moving forward, if anyone reads this, I am wondering about two things:

1. I need to get Winnie off of just eating pork chops and hamburger and back to a regular diet. Any suggestions for an anti-cancer diet that I can manage on my own with a busy schedule?

2. How long did folks have their dogs on the pain killers? I don’t think I’ll get her to have much of an appetite until that happens.

I love this dog. Just love her.

 

Five inches of snow on the ground and it’s clear Winnie doesn’t like snow as much as she used to. No interest in it and she looks a little uneasy about it. Honestly, I’m a little worried. Winnie remains sleepy but also a little restless. She moves around from spot to spot and doesn’t have much interest in going outside. I don’t think she’s pooped in a couple of days either. She doesn’t seem to be panting much and doesn’t look to be in much pain. She just looks down. She’s more cuddly than usual. What’s changed in the past two days? First, I’m back at work at least for about 6 hours a day. Second, we took her off the novox (the NSAID) but she’s still on the antibiotic, gabapentin and tramadol. I have a feeling this is just part of the healing process but I’d feel a lot better if she pooped!! I dunno. Things are bad. They’re just not great either. Ugh.

 

Winnie continues to do well but she is definitely sleepy! When she’s up, she asks to go out back and is managing really well. She won’t let me use the sling when she poops – she wants privacy! 🙂 She makes it up the two more shallow steps in the back yard. The three steps out front require help. But she’s good — she waits when we arrive at the steps so I can wrap the sling around her.

I am continually amazed in this community and how supportive everyone is. I even told my vet about it and they’re going to start to tell others patients’ parents as they go through this trying time. I’m dying to know how others are doing. Kerril – how’s Indi?

We spent an hour outside yesterday in the Sun to get a little more fresh air! See below.

On day four, I am still expecting something to go horribly wrong but we’re doing ok. No pooping yet today so I’m a little worried about that. But Winnie has had a pretty good day. She spent a couple of hours in the back yard laying in the sun. And, when I went out to bring her in, she hopped up the two back steps on her own!

She’s been sleeping a lot. I think she really needs it and have been trying to keep the house quiet. I must admit that I’m getting pretty tired and thinking of sleeping in my bed tonight. (I’ve been sleeping on the couch and/or the floor with the living room with her). We’ll, it’s actually a dining room but my house in under construction so it’s now a living room. So, we’re both confined to a small space.

I hate — really hate – putting the inflatable donut around her neck which is what I’ll need to do if I sleep upstairs. But we’re at the time where I have to do it because she’ll start wanting to lick those stitches. Do you think they’re at all comfortable with those things around their neck? Winnie gives me this pathetic look when I put it on her. I can barely stand it. But, I’m going to have to go work on Tuesday and we need to start moving toward reality.

She’s dreaming right now. Feet moving. Tail wagging. Squirrel? Cat? I wonder if she dreams with three legs or four. I must admit that today is the first day I cried just a little about her leg since she’s been home. It’s like I’m now starting to process it. I hope there will be a day when she is truly happy and comfy again. We’re doing the work, staying positive and hoping for the best.

 

It’s day three and Winnie is making remarkable progress. Here’s a run down of the day:

First thing: I make her poached chicken. She won’t eat it. She had hamburger last night. The girl’s got standards. I hand feed her a little and she takes it. Just enough to justify giving her 7 pills. Which I do and she every so slightly acquieces.

Later in the morning: I make a bed for her on the front porch so she can get some fresh air. She stands at the top step. I say, do you want to go for a walk, and she clearly says yes. I grab the harness and she walks to the end of the block!! She stops about every 40 feet to take a break and then keeps going. I know it was too far but I couldn’t disappoint her. It took 5 minutes to get there and about 10 to get back. I thought I had overdone it for the day but she didn’t seem too bad.

Midday: Naps, visitors and one non peeing trip to back yard.

Evening: Some rotisserie chicken and then…she asked to go outside. Couldn’t believe it. She walked outside — no harness – and walked in the back and pooped! Small poop but HUGE victory. I ran outside to help out – worrying she would fall – but she ran to me before I could get there.

I know we’ll have big setbacks ahead but we’re celebrating every little thing today. And I’ve realized that most of the lovely things in this world are a little…well…a little unusual. I guess that’s what makes them special. And Winnie couldn’t be more special to me.

 

 

 

Well, Day Two is…well…a surprise. She’s doing pretty well. She has walked to her bowl (about 20 feet) without the sling. I’ve taken her out twice to pee and she’s done it. The pain meds seem to be doing the job most of the time. It’s not easy but it’s promising!

I think the biggest challenge is getting all the meds in on time. It’s a lot of pills. Sometimes 7 at a time. The doc showed me how to put them all in a gob of peanut butter  (that I then put a think layer of butter around to make it slippery) to get them down all at once. After she has eaten, of course.

Once upon time Winnie would take pills in food. Pill Pockets, sure? Then no. We moved onto smoked salmon. Then no. After that, rotisserie chicken. Then she stopped. Finally, I realized I was creating food aversions! So, now I just pill her. I hate it. She hates it. But it gets the job done.

I expect the next few days will be tough. We’re taking it one day at a time.

What a wild ride this is. I pray Winnie and I will be stronger for it.

 

 

I am sitting at home waiting to pick Winnie up from the hospital. Her amputation was Tuesday after an almost unbearable decision to save her life instead of her leg. Winnie has (or hopefully “had) synovial cell sarcoma in her knee. It’s a cancer of the joint capsule. Dr. Glassman, our kind and particularly talented surgeon started to perform at TPLO surgery on her last month and found trouble once he got in there. It’s been a wildly emotional ride and today, we start recovery.

I must admit that I originally found the idea of having to decide to amputate Winnie’s leg as completely horrific. Well, until you consider the alternatives – any of which for us included pain, lameness and perhaps metastatic cancer. So, in the end, it really wasn’t a choice. In fact, I cried to poor Dr. Glassman just an hour before her surgery “There are no other options, right?”. “No.” he replied. And that was that.

Winnie has been at the vet for two nights now. They have kept her comfortable. She’s not eating but that’s terribly unlike her without a serious surgery and ample sedation. I haven’t been able to see her for fear of upsetting her or getting her too excited and then leaving. So, I haven’t yet seen her and am promising myself that I will not cry when I see her but smile and let her know what a great dog she is. She is, by the way. Really. Great. Dog.

Our goal is to get Winnie back to her playful ways before the pain. I know the next few days and weeks will be tough but we’re just going to set our sights on the long view.

Here we go. Woof.